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An astounding discovery has been made in the darkest tunnels below our nation's capitol...

These posters displayed in D.C. Metro cars portray a  adolescent girl called "Stella" who -- at first glance -- bears an uncanny likeness to a young Ellen Feiss.

Upon closer examination, however, one sees that despite a similarity in the shape of the nose and a certain redness of the eyes, the child, Stella is not Ellen. Nevertheless, speculation is running rampant throughout these corridors whether Stella might be Ellen's sister, and what sinister plot is at the heart of the President's Office of National Drug Control Policy that they felt the need to piggyback on Feiss' dubious popularity.